The Perks of Being Prince Andrew

Let’s take a break from the Labour party beauty pageant for one moment, and turn towards The Andrew Formerly Known As Prince. As you may recall, Mr Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested in February (on his birthday, no less) and released pending investigation, on suspicion of misconduct in public office. 

Though he hasn’t been charged, and has consistently denied wrongdoing, pressure shows no sign of letting up on the blue-blood pal of Jeffrey Epstein. Indignity is heaped upon embarrassment for the royal House of Windsor.

Having had the worst birthday since William Shakespeare, Andrew was arrested three months ago over allegations of misconduct in public office. Documents released by the US Department of Justice appeared to indicate that, while serving as a government trade envoy, he shared confidential information with his friend Jeffrey Epstein, the convicted paedophile financier. Since then, the investigation has ticked along quietly. But today, Thames Valley Police (TVP) have issued a pointed reminder that misconduct in public office “is a crime that can take different forms” – including sexual offences. 

TVP have appealed to potential victims to come forward, and are looking into allegations that a woman was trafficked to the UK by Jeffrey Epstein for a sexual encounter with the then-Duke of York. According to The Times, detectives have a statement from the alleged-victim’s lawyer, but have yet to interview the woman herself.

The Metropolitan Police previously reviewed allegations of sex trafficking linked to Jeffrey Epstein and interviewed Virginia Giuffre, who accused Andrew of assaulting her on three occasions when she was 17 years old.The force chose not to launch a full investigation, and Andrew himself denied any wrongdoing. Always one for princely largesse, however, he did agree to a reported £12m settlement with Giuffre in 2022. Quite a lot of money for a woman you can’t remember ever meeting. 

The Epstein files paint a picture of Prince Andrew as a bloated, entitled spider, at the centre of a web of favours and perks. As trade envoy, he reportedly forwarded official reports about trips to Hong Kong, Singapore, Vietnam and China to Jeffrey Epstein in 2010, and shared details regarding investment opportunities, despite his duty of confidentiality. Back in February, former-prime minister Gordon Brown urged police to look into whether Mountbatten-Windsor wangled the use of RAF bases for Epstein’s private jet, and whether this continued after Epstein’s conviction for child sex offences in 2008.

How did Prince Andrew even get the job? Well, he has Mummy to thank for that. Documents released by the government yesterday revealed that the late-Queen was “very keen” for her second son to take the job, and it was her “wish” that he have a prominent role in promoting Britain’s interests abroad. The New Labour government of the day, newly-published memos show, were made aware of Andrew’s preferences: “sophisticated countries” only, and ballet rather than theatre if the 40-something toddler must be forced out of bed. 

In a memo sent to Robin Cook by then-chief exec of British Trade International David Wright, Wright said that he “did not envisage that the Duke of York would want to be burdened with the regularity of meetings of the board of British Trade International or the burden of paper which goes along with the board membership.” Translation: distract the prince with hors d’oeuvres and champagne, and keep him away from actual work.

It appears that, despite the role bringing Prince Andrew into contact with both confidential information and foreign governments, there was no formal vetting process or due diligence done regarding his appointment as trade envoy. Well, I suppose there have to be some upsides to your mum being an anointed sovereign. 

It’s not often that I feel sorry for Keir Starmer. But the appointment of Peter Mandelson as ambassador to the US, and the suggestion that vetting recommendations were ignored in order to get him in post, has brought his government to the point of near-extinction. But the same can’t be said for those responsible for ferrying then-Prince Andrew into a cushy do-nothing job. Though stripped of his titles and booted out of the Royal Lodge, the King’s baby brother still lives on the Sandringham Estate. 

The royal-industrial complex still cruises along, while Keir Starmer fights for his political survival.